Should you even get married?
Giving them a kidney is stronger than marriage.
And when you swear to the officiant of the wedding and all the people present, that you will be true and by-their-side for the rest of your life, apparently only half of us actually carry that out.
Possibly less than half of us.
And I was thinking, for THAT kind of love, isn’t it worth the risk, even if 50%, risk of heartbreak and even cruelty?
Isn’t “true love“ worth any risk?
And then I was walking out of a Target and for some reason it occurred to me that when you have kids, you’re stirring THEM into the equation and, providing statistics hold: A 50% chance of coming from a broken home, with estranged even antagonistic parents.
(Not asserting that all parents end up at odds). But I’ll bet you know someone to whom that has happened.
So what am I saying? Three things.
Firstly, that marriages today are founded on much less substance then in past decades: Our culture, and especially the social media that our kids are marinating in currently prioritizes that the man or woman has to be “fine”. And quite a few relationships begin with “hook ups“ which is a tenuous footing for a meaningful relationship to begin with.
Cheating has become so rampant, that a lot of young women compete for the position of “side chick“.
Which, actually, I had thought about being a side chick, if you find the right greying dad or twentysomething trust fund kid, it can be highly lucrative. The best part is the wife takes care of the house, does half the household work, carries a lot of the domestic burden, and the side chick doesn’t have to do anything except get the gifts and go on nice dates.
The second thing I’m saying is that our family-law system is broken, so that if your gamble on true love and the Fam doesn’t work out, you can be ruined! Not necessarily by your ex spouse, but by the legal system that tries to drag it out. And family lawyers and judges who naturally capitalize on the profitable dissolution of the family unit. The monies that can be had in the divorce of a couple, is considerable, and even an ethical person would be tempted to drag it out and antagonize a couple to hurt each other.
And thirdly, MOST IMPORTANTLY: Should you have a kid or three when you know that there is a better than 50% chance that you ARE going to land them in an unhappy home?
In line with that, statistics show that fewer and fewer young people are even getting married. Probably having witnessed so much suffering in court rooms as their parents disassembled their lives with the “help“ of family law attorneys, who are “in on the game“.
And if you think I’m being overly pessimistic about family law, here’s a link to a bunch of attorneys and judges, and people providing testimonials and fact to this.