Dying Funny
All your life, (until it’s your turn), death is something “that happens to other people, not me.“
This is especially true when you’re a kid. Because hardly anyone you know dies. Everybody, including your parents is kind of young really.
But you can get pretty old before it dawns on you that ONCE in your life, death isn’t something that happens to somebody else.
And, then you just hope it’s not scary. Or if it’s scary, that it’s only 30 seconds or less.
I’ve pretty much decided that if I can still speak, while I’m dying, (let’s say, I’m having some sort of massive heart attack) I’m going to grab the nearest stranger, by the front of their shirt, and say “Listen, I’ve got to tell you where I stashed all the gold…“ Or, I’m thinking I might just say “Delete my browsing history…“ or maybe: “They finally got me but I’ve got to tell somebody the truth about Area 51… It’s glorious and they’re keeping it a secret…” And then die.
I’m a little jealous. Over many years, three of my fave customers died of something called “asystole”.
You don’t have a heart attack. It doesn’t hurt. Your heart literally stops beating for some reason. Instantly your blood pressure drops to zero and if you’re awake, you fade to black.
And three of those guys, went to heaven in their sleep, that way. Two of the three were in their La-Z-Boy recliners, on a holiday. One was Thanksgiving. The other was Super Bowl Sunday.
What kind of amazing, good things do you have to do in your life to attract that kind of karma? Imagine if you were so weird that you walked around all day telling people “Hey, have a great day, and I hope you die of asystole!“ Meaning it in the best possible way. And, much later in life.
