6pm.net

A copy of this song plays in the room as Vladimir Putin stares down the barrel of a loss in Russia to the Ukraine. As the lyrics wash over him like broken glass in a fresh wound, and the voice gets in his ear like a set of fingernails on a chalkboard – listening to the twangy, fake country boy vocal stylings of Luke Combs makes a total loss to Ukraine seem “okay” after all. He plays “When it Rains it Pours” a few more times and he’s good to go. Ready to surrender or die. Either one is fine but dying is preferable in case they decide to torture him with MORE Luke Combs songs in prison. 

He puts on some songs by Toby Keith, and listens to “I Wanna Talk About Me” and “How Do You Like Me Now” and all the other self-serving songs BY Toby Keith that are ABOUT Toby Keith, and then as his will to live plummets to zero, he takes out a handgun and blows out his brains.